With progress our future is bright
Your daughters want sex worker’s rights
The French Revolution
Caused moral pollution
And no one feels safe out at night
Frau Merkel’s resolve will not falter
Since Time magazine did exalt her
When she enters a cab
She puts on a hijab
In case the chaffeur might assault her
The Constitution a man may deduct
Has for years quite solidly sucked
And my main thrust
Is it’s socially just
To burn it — it’s royally f&*^ed!
At Burning Man everyone’s white
And there’s little crime in the night
But stereotype threat
Has never ever met
An obvious truth it can’t fight!
There was once was a man named Ahmed
Made a German girl quite lose her head
We’ll keep having anarchy
While we don’t have a monarchy
Let’s bring Stuarts back from the dead
The philosopher John Stuart Mill
Gave women individual will
The resulting experiment
Caused all lots of merriment
And society footed the bill
A people internalized laws
In a land where the ice never thaws
Now most of their ladies
Refuse to have babies
Except if their babies have paws
Young men hate political correctness
Anime is their source of erectness
Old men want a small state
Their voices effeminate
Only tanks have sufficient directness
I look around puzzled of late
How things so wrong once were quite great
And our numerous strategies
To roll back insanities
Chinese historians will debate
My daughter got into Yale
Holier than the Holy Grail
But to Haiti she went
For white privilege to repent
Now I forgive her killers in jail
Anything! they told me with glee
Was what I could choose to be
But at the Starbucks late
I lament my fate
Qualified only to vote for Bernie
Society makes women the boss
Epistemologically lost
Some doubt the world’s spherical
Hume says it’s empirical
But I trust the sword and the cross.
These are really excellent — and I encourage the readers (hi there) to add their own below!
Great stuff…I’ve just recently found this site and been enjoying it quite a bit.
I guess I should include one of my own poems…
Victorian Secret
Technology will allow us
(Beyond finite, we trust)
To live perfect, Godly lives
(Above need, we strive)
Without denying our natures
(Ever yearning for labors)
In London they’ve got a new mayor
Just one more displacement to bear
Now soon Shariah
For the whites, insh’allah
And now Britain hasn’t a prayer
My principles are merely the kind
Of which it was easy to find
Before Napoleon
And la Révolution
Infected the Western world’s mind
Just as mundane as cleaning the lint trap
He greets the new day with a quick fap
Anime might suffice
She-male twins, also nice
Then after some tendies, a good nap.
“America used to be great
But now it is a failing State
Her Leftists succeeded
Her Right-wing receded
Can Trump save this land from its fate?”
“I once taught at university
Til it traded books for Diversity
Today they all chatter on how Black Lives Matter
And every known form of perversity”.
***
The following fragment of unknown authorship was widely circulated in Canada when that country adopted a “Charter of Rights and Freedoms” in its Constitution some decades back:
“You charter your rights
I’ll charter my rights
And if your rights and my rights
Should get into fistfights
You don’t wanna budge?
Well here come da judge…”
The rights limerick is choice.
There once was a lib from Nantucket
So savage he shat in a bucket
A crawling with fleas
C’Mon honkey please
You’re not even worth a brass ducat
1788: That’s like 14/88, but 300 better!
300 moar… that’s for sure.